In a previous blog post I wrote about what I have come to understand about resilience; a softening, more expansive way of being, as opposed to ‘bouncing back’ to the same.
What I neglected to mention in that previous post: Resilience is part of us - we do not have to create it.
Here’s what I mean; Yes, resiliency is developed through experience. The first time for everything is often met with a panacea of emotions. Then when the first time is over, we develop an awareness or sense of trust in what has now become familiar. However, this familiarity can also contribute to dulling the trust in ourselves - especially when things change. Rather than meet the unknown with curiosity, we cling to the old and we fear change.
Resiliency also means that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. It’s true because when we go through difficult situations, we are pushed far beyond our comfort zones, sometimes wondering if we will survive - and we do. Once through an extremely difficult experience, we have a shift in perspective. Things are not the same, we don’t feel the same. We don’t know ourselves. And that is because we ourselves are new and different. Trusting this process is trusting the innate wisdom of resiliency. Easier said than done - and absolutely possible.
When we understand resiliency is part of who we are, then perhaps we will trust this wise self within us. We let go of needing to control outcome and become invested vs attached. Our perspective about the experience of life can shift from fear and uncertainty, to one of awe, gratitude and appreciation for what really matters: our connection to ourselves, others, and the planet.